"Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak"
- Rita Larson
- Aug 7, 2023
- 3 min read
When it comes to communication in marriage, it is easy to become angry and slip into bad behavior when we are not listening to what our spouse has to say. God created us and our spouses to be a team and to move and think in unity with one another. If we are not listening, we are not able to understand our spouse’s point of view. This can lead to a lack of communication and hurt feelings. If we stop, listen, and think before speaking, we can help to avoid arguments and be quick to forgive, living in harmony and peace.
Communication is a key component in any relationship. James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”. This is a good measuring stick for communication with others, including our spouse. When couples practice this principle, they are able to form a strong, unified bond with each other. In contrast, if we do the opposite and are quick to speak and slow to listen, communication is stifled and we can find ourselves in a downward spiral of anger and misunderstanding. Proverbs 15:1 states, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." By responding with a gentle answer, we can help to diffuse a tense situation. It is only when we truly listen to our spouses that we can understand their feelings, and it’s only when we truly understand that we can respond in an appropriate manner.
Ephesians 4:2-3 says “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Unity requires a commitment to developing Christ-like character, especially humility, and submission. Pride is the great enemy of unity and can quickly destroy a relationship. Maintaining unity requires a commitment to pursue peace, resolve conflict, and preserve relationships despite personal differences. We can keep a peaceful unity with our spouse by having patience and understanding.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” We should speak only words of edification. When something is edifying, it is uplifting, positive, and informative. Words that edify are not words of judgment and negativity. Choosing our words when we communicate with our spouse is critical, especially when we may be angry. Always choose words wisely!
Colossians 3:13-14 also tells us “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness”. We should be quick to forgive our spouses, just as Christ has forgiven us. We should also put on charity, or unconditional love. When we let the love of the Father be our guide in relationships, loving others as He loves us, our relationship is built on the foundation of Jesus Christ, the perfect love that brings us closer together in our marriage.
Communication and forgiveness are the most essential elements of a successful marriage. We should be quick to listen and slow to speak, and careful to choose the words we use when we communicate. Always be quick to forgive, just as Christ has forgiven us! ©Rita Larson 8/7/2023
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